Welcome to terrapindream.
"Uh, yeah... My name is Terry and I like to explore consciousness."
Exploration usually takes the form of visual art. It's always been this way, since first memories.
And it's perfect. Freud said you can't make the unconscious conscious by looking directly within. You must manifest the material in the outer world - then it can be seen and (perhaps) read. So my pictures are snapshots of one particular mind, both the conscious and the unconscious.
I want to get this work out to anyone who might resonate, of course , but more specifically people who share my love of the strange inner landscape.
I used to be a painter. When I discovered the computer as a tool in the mid-90s I latched on and haven't let go. It's as if the computer was made for me. I was floored by the freedom of it; the possibilies for working in series, to be able to instantly change a background color, to manipulate photos, to blend all my creative outlets in one unified arena.
There are basically two types of pictures here: abstract, and a sort of cartoon psychedelic, surrealist, narrative world I've been working on my whole life. I drift back and forth between these two as inner sensations dictate.
I've always liked to get high, and making art gets me very high. There's a point in the process (repeated with each picture), the moment I live for: the initial rush of recognition, and the sustained dopamine pleasure of coaxing it all the way out. This phase feels very much like a chemical stimulant. Ten hours go by in a flash. Total flow state. I don't need to eat, don't want to sleep. All I want is to be attached to that huge, dynamic visual machinery of the "deep inside."
In some sense I'm carrying on a tradition - a simple method of creating used by the Universe itself, which throws its "materials" together in countless arrangements and patterns. Eventually complexity and low entropy states appear. I make a chaos of changes on screen and watch for a transition to lower entropy. Ideally, the picture is finished somewhere in that transition space, before it becomes too ordered. It's a delicate balance between Apollo and Dionysus, Krishna and Shiva, Rocky and Bullwinkle.